I used to wish I was a boy

So this might be a little awkward to read for some of you who know me better, I'm not sure. And I know it will piss some of you off because that's just today's world. So if you're just here to get riled up and post nasty comments, maybe don't read on.

If you are, or love someone who is, LGBT, I mean no offense. I have no ill or judgmental feelings towards you.

I didn't even know at the time that I was going through anything. I guess I was just sheltered enough that the idea of a sex change, had someone ever tried to explain it to me, would have been on par with zebras living on the moon.

I had a normal childhood. I played dress ups and Barbies with my sister. I watched princess movies. I liked all the girly stuff. I also loved old cowboy movies, playing in the mud, Lego's, and playing cops and robbers.

It wasn't until I was probably 13 or so, I guess I saw my sister who would have been almost 16 starting to turn into a woman, that I thought I didn't want to be a girl. Girls were mean. I wasn't feminine. I didn't WANT to be feminine. I would say things to my dad like "I think I was suppose to be born a boy." I would brag about being able to pick out shoes in five minutes while my mom and sister continued looking around the store for an hour or more, because I didn't like shopping like most women. I thought I was cool for not carrying a hair brush or makeup around in my purse because I didn't care that I wasn't pretty. Little things like that. 

My dad was awesome. He spent so much time with us, was patient with us, and slow to anger. But one day after one of my "I wish I were a boy" comments, he got frustrated (not angry, I'm sure he was just very concerned for me) and he told me "But you're not a boy, honey!" That was all it took to snap me awake. "Duh. I'm a girl. And that's ok."

I know all you parents out there want what's best for your children. And yes that means supporting them in what they love. But if instead of letting me be curious for a year and hoping I would grow out of it, my parents had encouraged me to act on my feelings... I could have had A MUCH more trying life as a teen-ager. I might have pursued women instead of men. I might never have fallen in love with my fiancé. Who knows what my life would be right now.

Here's where I get to my point. We go through all kinds of fazes while we're growing up. It isn't healthy for us to explore all of them. Children are just that. Children. They are not suppose to be making life altering decisions. If your child wants to live like they are of opposite gender, don't ENCOURAGE them. What could have just been a faze might turn into their life. And if you know anything about homosexuals or transgenders, it's that their lives are made increasingly more difficult. If your little girl really wants to be a boy, she can make that decision when she is an adult and you can support her from there. There is no reason to support a child's notions because you fear the world will judge you or call you nasty names or tell lies about you. Because they probably will. But that's not your concern. Your concern is guiding your little boy or little girl through confusing or curious times until they are adults, old enough to make those decisions on their own.

Now at 25 years old I LOVE being a woman. I still wear men's clothes sometimes just because they are ridiculously comfy. But I really love the dresses and the lipsticks and the glitter. This is who I was meant to be.

When My Mother Takes A Selfie

When my mother takes a selfie she doesn't think "Does this look sexy?"
She doesn't make her lips look pouty or give a sensual stare
She smiles her truest smile or shows what real emotion she is feeling

When my mother takes a selfie she gets her point across
It's not just another excuse for her to get her face out there
She really just wants you to know "Hey look what I'm doing... Look who I'm with"

When my mother takes a selfie she doesn't try all different angles
She doesn't take 21 photos and then pic the best one
She doesn't worry about if she is showing enough cleavage

Or if she has enough makeup on
Or how her outfit looks today
Or what people will think of her silver hair

When My mother takes a selfie she's not searching for attention
She doesn't look depressed and hope people will pity her
She would never post pictures of makeup running down her face so people will know when she is sad

When my mother posts a selfie she doesn't think about how beautiful she is
She doesn't revel in the fact that her girlfriends will be jealous of her looks
She doesn't care how many "likes" she will get

When my mother posts a selfie... she is just my mother, and neither of us would want her to be anyone else